April 1, 2021

March 2021

March was, without a doubt, the hardest month of 2021 so far. The truth is that I was engaged in an internal battle with my own anxieties for nearly the entirety of March. While I tend to be more private about certain aspects of my personal life, I feel like it's important for me to note that I spent a lot of time just allowing myself to feel the way I felt, and actively engaging in the activities I had, in the past, known to help improve my own mental health. My own personal internal struggles coupled with the external stress, anxiety and anger over the many moments of anti-Asian violence... well, you can imagine that it was definitely not a great mix. It took a while to really get out of the dumps/slumps/funk (I interchanged these three words when referring to my state of mind all month). Truthfully, I'm still reeling from the antagonism and horror of the violent attacks, and also very wary and paranoid about my own safety and ease in a city I used to feel comfortable roaming freely. (And I don't know what else to say, but please check out this card with Anti-Asian Violence Resources).

Just when I thought I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, my Lola Lydia (my grandmother on my dad's side) passed away in her sleep. Because of the stricter COVID protocols being implemented, our family was only able to do a small mass service and burial and we did a tribute/eulogy over Zoom. In the end, while I'm still reeling from the speed with which things happened and sad we couldn't be there in person, I'm grateful for the technology that allowed those of us who aren't in Manila to be a part of things.

I know I've mostly talked about the hardships of this last month so far, but there were definitely a few highlights that deserve a shoutout. I started using the app Happy Color on my iPad and coloring has been an excellent method of de-stressing for me ever since. We finished up WandaVision and Black Clover (both of which have been brilliant), watched Raya and the Last Dragon (a new favorite), and started the new season of My Hero Academia and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. We relaunched Fandom Buzzz for season two. And, of course, the best parts of my month were spending time with family and friends!

Unfortunately, because of the mental state I was in, my reading took a slight dip and I only managed to finish a total of thirteen books. It was a fairly average reading month in terms of ratings, but I did want to note that I read mostly audiobooks this month (specifically, 8 of the 13 were audio!). My two highest rated reads were Legendborn (which I thought was such a clever YA fantasy debut) and Black Sun (I was initially unsure of how I'd feel about this one, but man, it really sucked me in). But in terms of which books I enjoyed a lot, I also wanted to shoutout Halfway to the Grave (an older adult urban fantasy series that Rachel & I are reading together), If I Had Your Face (which I found fascinating and could not stop listening to) and Dustborn (an upcoming YA sci-fi/dystopian release where the story had me turning the pages to see what happened next).

Here are the two blog posts that went up last month:

Here are the videos that were uploaded to the channel:

Here are the episodes of Fandom Buzzz that went up last month:


  1. My deepest condolences and prayers to you and your loved ones.

  2. My sincerest condolences for yours and your family's loss. <3 I hope you can find the time for yourself.

  3. I am sorry to hear that March was such a rough month. You have my condolences for your loss.

  4. I'm so sorry again for the loss of your Lola. I'm glad you were able to find comfort in some of your hobbies this month- I know how tough it was for you<3 I hope the rest of 2021 is better!

  5. So sorry for your loss of your grandmother. March was a rough month for you for sure. I hope that April will be better for you.


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